The Maybe Series Page 4

  I know what I don’t want.

  I don’t want a modeling career.

  I don’t want an acting career.

  I don’t want to marry a complete stranger.

  I try to think of my happiest memory with my dad. It was on my eighteenth birthday. It coincided with my high school graduation. He took me to a casino in California, one I could legally gamble at. He taught me how to play blackjack and how to count cards. We won—a lot. It wasn’t the winning that made it fun. It was learning something from my father. It was the confidence he displayed in me when he gave me high amounts of money to place a bet that I would win because I was capable. It was one of the only times I felt he was proud of me for something other than my looks.

  The line I will never forget my father saying to me is, “No one would ever suspect you of counting cards. You’re too pretty.”

  It was that day that I learned that my beauty was a weapon that could be used to my advantage. I just have never learned how to harness it.

  I head to my room to grab my shoes and purse to head to a casino, to find a happy memory…because, tomorrow, I’ll meet the man I’m going to marry. Tomorrow, I’ll have to face the fact that I don’t get to decide my own future, but I don’t have to today. I still have a chance to make today better. I was wrong. Today isn’t the worst day of my life. Tomorrow probably will be, so I’m going to make the most of my last night of freedom.

  I place five hundred dollars’ worth in chips on the table—my maximum bid. The true count is up to plus-six, so I need to bet high since a positive true count tells me I have an advantage over the dealer. I watch as the dealer deals out the cards. In my head, I silently keep track of the cards being laid out. I look at my cards—a jack and a ten. I smile at the twenty, just one short of twenty-one. The number I want to match without going over. The dealer turns to me on my turn, and I signal that I want to stand.

  I watch the dealer flop an additional card to add to his fifteen. It’s a king. He’s busted at twenty-five. I smile as he hands me a thousand dollars in additional chips bringing my winnings up to five thousand for the night.

  I should stop soon. Not stopping is always the chance you take when you play against the house. The house always has the advantage, even when you count cards, even when you know the odds. There is always a chance that you will lose, that you will lose track of the count, that you will get cocky and bet too much.

  But I didn’t come here to win. Although winning feels good, I came here to escape. So, I’ll keep playing, no matter what.

  “You’re good. You should teach this old man to play. I’m having terrible luck,” an older gentleman sitting next to me says.

  I smile at the sweet old man. He’s been sitting next to me for over an hour now, and I don’t think he’s won more than a couple of hands. He is down well over a thousand dollars.

  I bid my maximum five hundred again. I keep my eyes on the cards as the dealer deals. I silently keep up the running count while still giving attention to the older gentleman.

  “It’s just beginner’s luck. I haven’t played in years.”

  The man smiles at me. “It looks like more than luck to me.”

  I shake my head as I smile back. I watch as the man takes his turn. He has seventeen. He should stand. If he hits, there is a good chance he will bust. He hits, and he busts. I knowingly shake my head.

  It’s my turn. I get a blackjack. I smile as the dealer pushes more chips my way.

  The old man sitting next to me shakes his head in disbelief that I won again. I try to act innocent by twirling my long hair with my fingers. I don’t want to draw attention to the fact that I’m counting cards, not that anyone would expect a beautiful young woman to be counting cards. But if security does catch on, I know enough about casinos to know that I’ll be kicked out.

  I silently divide the running count by the decks left in the shoe. I get negative four indicating I’m at a disadvantage. I place a low bet this time, expecting to lose. I do.

  “Guess my winning streak can’t last forever.”

  The older gentleman chuckles. “Maybe your luck has passed to me.”

  I glance up from the table when I see them—the most intense eyes I have ever seen. I can’t believe I haven’t noticed him before. I’ve been sitting at this table for over an hour. In that time, many people have come and gone. None of them were the least bit intriguing.

  There is something about the way this man is looking at me that sends goose bumps all over my body. I’m not sure what the look actually is. Is it lust? Interest? Anger? Frustration? I don’t know. All I can feel is the intensity of his eyes. And they are staring at me. His eyes don’t leave me as the dealer begins dealing.

  I glance back at the table to continue counting the cards, but I still feel his eyes burning into me. I lose track of the count, not really caring anymore. I hit even though I’m at nineteen, and it doesn’t make sense to. I bust.

  “I think I’ve pushed my luck too far at this table. Good luck,” I say, winking at the older gentleman next to me. I stand from the table, taking my chips with me.

  I make it a point to avoid looking at the man, but I still feel his eyes on me. I’m not ready to leave yet. As soon as I leave, my world will no longer be in my control—not that it ever was in my control. But I need more of a distraction.

  I walk to the bar in the center of the casino and take a seat. I relax as my butt hits the cushion of the barstool. I know I can’t sit here for long without ordering a drink, which is the last thing I want. Maybe I’ll try my hand at pushing the buttons on the slots. I know I’ll end up losing all the money I just won, but I don’t care.

  “So, you’re a pro.”

  “What?” I turn left, toward the direction of the voice.

  That’s when I see them—the same intense eyes. It’s the same man who was watching me at the blackjack table.

  I flip the chips over in my hands at the bar.

  “A pro card counter,” he says as he takes a seat next to me.

  Shit. I’m about to get thrown out of here.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I turn back to the bar. I try to get the attention of one of the scantily clad bartenders, but the closest one to me is busy flirting with a gentleman.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I watch the man from the blackjack table as he raises his hand, and the bartender immediately smiles and begins walking over to us.

  “Yes, you do. Don’t worry. I’m not going to turn you in.”

  I exhale a breath I didn’t even know I had been holding. “Do you work here?”

  “No.”

  I don’t know how to respond to that, so I don’t. I have no idea why this complete stranger followed me. It’s not like the other night at the bar where I was dressed to pick up a guy. Tonight, I look like death. Nobody is attracted to that. So, it can’t be that. He’s not here to kick me out. That leaves…I have no idea.

  “What can I getcha?” The woman leans over the bar, pushing her cleavage closer to the man’s face.

  I watch his lips move, but I don’t register what he is saying. He doesn’t ask me what I want. He just speaks to the bartender, while keeping his eyes on me.

  I know all of this because, when the bartender came over, I took the opportunity to check him out, assuming he would be looking at the boobs in front of him. I was wrong.

  Now, I can’t take my eyes off of him even though my cheeks are burning red with embarrassment. I notice his suit that conforms to his body, making it obvious that he doesn’t work here. His dark brown hair spikes slightly to one side, and I think there is a little red in it, if I look closely. He has a hint of a five o’clock shadow outlining below his downturned lips that seem just as intense as his eyes.

  The whole time I’m taking him in, he doesn’t move. His expression never changes. I’m used to men at least smiling at me, but he doesn’t.

  He’s older. I know that much. He has lines around his eyes that hint at him bein
g older than me. I have no idea how much older though—maybe ten years, if I had to guess.

  He’s intimidating.

  His eyes don’t shift from mine until the bartender returns with our drinks, and he reaches into his pocket to hand the woman his credit card.

  I glance at the bar and see two glasses of wine sitting in front of us.

  “Thanks,” I say.

  He nods and takes a sip of his wine. I do the same. As soon as the liquid touches my lips, my whole attitude toward this stranger changes. The liquid is amazing. No, it’s better than amazing. It’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted. It puts the Cosmo I had the other night to shame.

  “This is delicious.” I hold up the wine to my lips and take another sip.

  “Good,” he says, seeming satisfied with my response.

  I curiously look at him. “Why are you here?”

  “Because I’m like every other person on the planet who likes to drink and occasionally gamble his money away while looking at boobs.”

  I smile bashfully when he says boobs even though he isn’t talking about mine. Mine are completely covered up, if you can even call what I have boobs.

  He, on the other hand, still hasn’t cracked a smile.

  “I meant…” I shake my head. I’m not going to ask.

  “I’m intrigued by you. You’re beautiful, yet I detect a bit of insecurity in you for reasons that don’t make sense. You are obviously intelligent, if you are able to count cards, but you are used to your beauty helping you to cover up that intelligence, just like you did with your card counting. You seem sad, yet you’ve chosen to come to one of the most alive places on the planet. You have every reason to be confident, yet you act like a scared, innocent little girl. I’m just trying to figure out what you are doing here.”

  I narrow my eyes at his rude comments. How could he have formed such a strong opinion of me in such a short amount of time? “Thank you for the drink,” I say as I stand. I’m not going to sit here and listen to a stranger insult me, not tonight.

  He grabs my arm as I get up. “I didn’t mean that as criticism.”

  “Seems like it to me,” I say cautiously as I stare where he is still holding my arm. I feel the heat transfer from his body to mine where he is touching me. It feels overpowering, like everything else coming from this man.

  “Let’s try again. I’m Killian. You seem like a nice girl. I would love to hear over another drink how you became so good at blackjack and hopefully get some tips because I sucked back there.” This time, after he speaks, his lips curl up slightly.

  It’s not quite a smile, but I can tell it’s pushing it for this man.

  I smile brightly, hoping that if I smile, he will, too.

  “I’m Kinsley,” I say, extending my hand.

  He shakes it like it’s a business arrangement. I suck in my breath at his touch. His handshake is powerful and strong. It’s practiced, like he has shaken a million hands. I bet he can close business deals with just the strength of his handshake.

  “And I would love more wine.” I take another sip of my wine, finishing it off.

  He nods to the bartender this time, and she immediately comes over to him even though the bar is now full, and it’s not our turn to be served.

  “Another?” the woman asks him, smiling brightly.

  He nods. She winks at him before she goes to retrieve our drinks.

  My mouth stays open. “How did you do that?”

  He raises an eyebrow. “Order drinks?”

  “How did you get her attention like that? Are you a regular or something?”

  “No. Bartenders just know where their biggest tip lies. And that’s with me.”

  I nod although I’m not sure if that’s completely it. He definitely has the sex-appeal thing going for him. And the intense almost lust-filled look he gives would make any woman say yes immediately.

  I find myself wondering what it would be like if he asked me to go home with him tonight. How different would it be from Brent? I shake my head, getting that thought out of my head. I can’t have sex with this man—not that he is asking me anyway.

  The bartender places our drinks in front of us. I immediately grab the glass and bring it to my lips to taste the sweet, smooth liquid again. I moan quietly as the liquid pours down my throat. The taste is magical. I’ve never had anything like it.

  “My father.”

  His eyes find mine, but he doesn’t say a word.

  “My father taught me how to play blackjack.”

  He nods.

  “He taught me how to count cards.” My cheeks flush slightly from admitting that to him.

  I think I see a hint of a smile forming, but I don’t know how to keep that smile on his lips. I don’t know how to flirt and show him that I need a distraction.

  “He’s dead,” I blurt out. Then, I wait. I wait for the, I’m sorry. I wait for the, Is there anything I can do for you? I wait for the, How are you doing?

  This is what I get instead, “Let’s get out of here.”

  My eyes widen. “What?”

  “We are leaving.” Killian stands from the bar and begins walking in the direction of the hotel rooms.

  I laugh. He’s got to be kidding.

  When I glance at him, I realize he’s not. His face is stoic as he waits just a couple feet from me to follow him.

  “What?”

  “This isn’t what you need.”

  I laugh again before I glance back up at his eyes. “How do you know what I need?”

  He walks to me until his body just grazes mine. His eyes stay on mine as his hand tucks my hair behind my ear. His hand doesn’t stop there though. It trails down my neck as he pushes my hair back until he is gently holding the nape of my neck. My breath catches. Shivers form all over my body. An ache for more forms in my belly, but I don’t let my need show. A complete stranger can’t turn me on this much. It took Brent most of the night to get me this filled with lust. How has this stranger done it with barely a touch?

  I watch as he bends down. For a second, I think he’s going to kiss me, but he doesn’t. Instead, his lips move inches away from my neck so that I can feel his hot breath there. I can’t move. I can’t breathe.

  “Your body tells me. Your eyes are begging me to kiss you,” he whispers into my ear. His deep voice causes fluid to soak my panties. “You’re wet.”

  I suck in a breath, proving him right.

  “You want me to take you to my hotel room down the strip and fuck you until you scream.” He moves away from my neck. “That’s what you need.”

  He cocks his head and grins for the first time. It’s a beautiful sight, and it’s a side of him I doubt he displays often.

  I nod, and he smiles brighter.

  “Come,” he says, holding his hand out to me.

  I blush at the double meaning of the word. I bite my lip as I debate on what to do. I reach for the phone in my pocket, but I let my hand fall to my side. My father isn’t here to guide me. I have to decide this one on my own. And my body is begging me to go with this stranger. I have no doubt that he will know how to handle my body.

  But I can’t. I tried it once, and I ended up puking alone while my father was dying.

  “I ca—”

  His lips stop me from speaking as his tongue slips into my mouth in one motion. The kiss is long and slow. His tongue takes complete control. When he breaks from the kiss, I’m panting, unable to catch my breath.

  “Come with me. You need this.”

  I stare at him, still panting hard, while I try to decide if he is a serial killer or not. Based on that kiss though, I’m not sure if I care. I would die happy, kissing this man.

  I grab my glass of wine and down the last few drops, hoping the liquid will calm my nerves. It does.

  “At least let me take you to get another bottle of your favorite wine.”

  “It’s not my favorite.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  I turn back to the bar, expecting him to or
der another glass of wine.

  “They’re all out.”

  “I doubt it.” I try to flag down the bartender, but she won’t stop for me. I sigh.

  “Don’t trust me?”

  “No, I don’t.”

  He flags her down. “Another round,” he says without glancing at her boobs.

  “I’m sorry, sir. We are all out of that wine. Can I recommend another one?”

  “No, thank you, Clarissa.”

  My eyes grow wide at the mention of the bartender’s name. Her name tag sits across the left side of her blouse just above her cleavage. So, he did check out her boobs.

  “Come split a bottle of wine with me.”

  “Maybe,” I say. I can’t help but smile. I need this. I need to have one night to sleep with whomever I want before I never get to choose again. I need to finish what I never got that night.

  “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  Killian’s hotel room is impressive. It’s one of the most impressive hotel rooms I’ve been in, and I’ve been in a lot. It’s large and spacious, and it has more rooms than any hotel room should. It’s also in the Felton Grand, one of my family’s hotels. I didn’t want to come here yet. Not so soon after my father passed away. Not when this is the place that I would miss him the most. But I didn’t want to tell Killian the truth when he brought me to this hotel, so I came.

  I shake nervously as I watch him pour two glasses of wine. The nerves at least keep me from thinking about my father. He hands me my glass of wine, and he takes his and sits in a chair next to me. I hate that he is sitting there. I want him to sit next to me. I want him to kiss me. I want him to sleep with me, like he promised.

  Instead, he sits, patiently watching me, as we both sip our wines.

  “What do you do?” I ask, trying to distract my nerves.

  “Do you really want to know? Or would you prefer, when I make you come, you don’t know anything about me? That way, when this is over, you can go back to whatever you are running from without any attachment.”

  “How do you know I’m running from something? Maybe I’m just missing my father.”