Not Sorry Page 6

  “I want to show you the reason I’m leasing this place. I like the openness of the main room for guests and parties.” He pulls me further down a long hallway to a door at the end. He stops while he grabs hold of the door and looks at me with a mischievous grin. He turns the knob and pushes the door open. “But this is why I love this condo.”

  I gasp when I see the dark room. It looks like a dungeon and is so different than the bright openness of the rest of his condo.

  “What is that?” I ask even though I clearly know what it is. His bedroom and torture chamber.

  He chuckles. “My bedroom. What did you think it was?”

  I warily look at him, and he laughs again. He puts a finger under my chin, lifting my gaze to his, before he tenderly kisses me on the lips.

  “Relax, Olive. It’s just a man’s bedroom. I don’t have whips hanging on the walls. I don’t have handcuffs hiding in drawers. Just a dark, manly room where I can retreat to when I need a break from the world.”

  I exhale deeply, not realizing that I was holding my breath the whole time.

  “Oh, and I also like it because it’s soundproof.”

  And, just like that, he takes my breath away again.

  “Now, for that punishment. Since this might be the only time I get to punish you in any sort of sexual manner, I’m going to take full advantage.”

  “Just no whips or bondage,” I whisper loud enough for him to hear.

  He laughs. He walks over and softly kisses me on the lips again. “You weren’t listening. I already told you, I don’t have any whips or bondage in this bedroom. I’ve used it in the past, and I will again if that’s what you really want, but I prefer to use other means to punish and control.”

  I cock my head to the side as I look up at him, confused. “Control?”

  He nods. “That is going to be your punishment. For your lesson tonight, you’re gonna learn what it’s like to not have any control and therefore learn that you never want to give it up again.”

  It doesn’t sound like that bad of a punishment since it’s not like I would know what to do in the bedroom with a man like Sean anyway.

  “Why does everything have to be a lesson with you? Why can’t we just get back at Owen for breaking my heart, and that’s it?”

  “Because what fun would that be? And, besides, our time together is limited. I need to take advantage of every second we are together to teach you everything I know.”

  He doesn’t have to say that he thinks our time is numbered because, after tonight, I might give up and quit. He thinks I can’t handle working for a man who fucked me and then wanted nothing to do with me. But he doesn’t know me at all. He doesn’t know how loyal and determined I can be to do something when I’ve set my mind to it.

  “Do we have an arrangement then? Will you give up control and do whatever I say? Let me fuck you however I want?”

  I stare into Sean’s eyes as my heart races in my chest. I’ve had sex with a total of three men in my life. None of them were amazing in bed. All were pretty selfish, more worried about their own pleasure than mine. And I have a feeling that’s what Sean’s about, too. But I know he’ll have a different intensity than the rest, and that intensity will at least make me forget about Owen and what he did to me. I want to know what it’s like to be fucked by a real man. And, if I have to give up some control to get it, so be it. I can always back out in a moment anyway. All I have to do is say no, and he’ll stop. I know that much about Sean. This is him just trying to prepare me for whatever test he has up his sleeve now.

  “Yes.”

  As soon as I say the word yes, the door slams shut, making me jump. I’m trapped. Saying no isn’t going to get me out of this. I’m not even sure I would have the strength to say no anyway.

  “I think I’m going to enjoy this a little too much,” Sean says as he walks toward me.

  I don’t move. I can’t move. There’s too much excitement and fear running through my veins for me to be able to think clearly enough to do something as simple as move.

  He walks forward until his lips are hovering over mine. He looks me in the eyes one more time, challenging me to stop this, giving me one last chance before I completely relinquish all my control to him. It’s just a second, but it feels like forever while I wait for him to kiss me.

  He doesn’t wait for words this time. He just kisses me. I can’t breathe, and I’m not sure I want to ever again because all I want to feel is his tongue on mine, pushing further into my mouth, claiming every inch of my mouth as his.

  I never thought a kiss could tell me so much, but his kisses tell me everything he’s feeling. How his lips press firmly against mine and how his tongue pushes inside me—it shows me how much he wants to fuck me. His hands holding firm on my neck and my ass show me how much control he has over me.

  He lets go of me, breaking the kiss, and then says, “Breathe, Olive.”

  I do, but I don’t take a deep enough breath before his lips cover mine again, making me forget all about the fact that I’m not getting enough oxygen. He pushes the kiss right to my limit, knowing full well that I won’t breathe again until his lips leave mine—not because I can’t, but because I’m completely under his spell.

  His lips leave mine, and then again, he says, “Breathe.”

  I do but only because he said so. It’s no longer an automatic response for me. I’m too consumed by his kisses to even do something as simple as breathing.

  He laughs. “This is going to be far too enjoyable for me, Olive.”

  He takes a step back and then another, leaving me feeling empty and alone even though he’s only a few feet from me. He takes a seat in a chair in the corner. I walk forward, assuming he wants me in his lap, kissing him further.

  “Stop.”

  I do—not because I want to, but because I can’t help but give in to him when he says words in his sexy voice. I can’t think straight enough to come up with a coherent argument for me to keep moving.

  “Undress for me.”

  That seems to break the spell. Because, as much as I want to have sex with him, the thought of having to undress in front of him while he inspects every inch of my body terrifies me. He’s built like a Greek god. I can see that without him ever removing an ounce of clothing. While I’m skinny, I’m an assistant who spends far more time at work than I do in a gym. I like cooking and baking and eating far too much to slowly undress in front of him.

  “Why don’t you remove my clothes? It will be far more enjoyable for you to rip them off my body,” I say. I’m hoping that, if he has his hands on me, he won’t be able to get a good look at my body and imperfections.

  Sean frowns. “You gave up control, remember? Now, strip slowly for me, or you won’t get what you want. And, trust me, you want what I’m going to give you, Olive. Because I guarantee you, no man has made you come like I’m going to. But, first, you have to pay the price.”

  I don’t know how he does it, but his voice makes me change my mind. It makes me want what he promises. So, I move my hands to the buttons on my shirt, and I pop open the first one and then another and another until the shirt hangs open on my body. When I’m finished, I look up at Sean, who is waiting patiently for me to take off my shirt.

  “Take off your shirt.”

  I meet his gaze as I slowly slip off my shirt. I let the shirt fall to the floor and show the first level of imperfections that grace my body—the large birthmark on half of my stomach and the large scar on the other half where my gallbladder was removed. He sees the weight that I’m still carrying from Christmas when I ate a few too many chocolates and drank a little too much wine to deal with my family.

  It’s just the first layer. Soon, when I remove my bra, he will see that I wear a push-up bra to make my boobs look bigger. When I remove the skirt, he’ll see the cellulite and stretch marks that cover my ass, something that I know a man like him has never seen on the models I’m sure he usually dates.

  When I look at his eyes going
over what little of my body is exposed, I don’t see him finding my imperfections. His eyes tell me how much he doesn’t care about them and how much he still wants to fuck me. I wait for some smirk or comment. For him to tell me that he’s changed his mind.

  Instead, he says, “I want more.”

  I grab my skirt and slowly shimmy it down my body until it falls around my ankles while I continue to stare into his eyes.

  “Step closer. I want to get a closer look at you.”

  I suck in a breath and then take a step forward. I quickly feel myself losing my balance because my skirt is still around my ankles. I fall flat on my face on the floor. I wait for the laughter or teasing, but instead, I feel his arms around me as he lifts me up and then softly places me on the bed.

  I open my eyes and see Sean looking at me with such lust and need that I forget that I just looked like an idiot in front of him. I forget that I’m half-naked and exposed in front of him.

  “Fuck waiting and punishing you. I need you now.”

  A second later, he has my bra off and one of my nipples in his mouth. I moan loudly as his tongue swirls around my nipple.

  He sucks hard. “You like that, baby?”

  “Yes,” I say, half-breathing, half-moaning.

  His lips move to my other breast, giving it the same attention he just gave the other. “Fuck, your tits are perfect, Olive.”

  “Don’t stop!” I scream.

  He continues to torture my breasts, bringing me ever-so close to coming from just what he is doing to my boobs.

  He grins against my breast and then says, “But, if I don’t stop, then how am I going to do this?” He grabs my panties and sharply pulls them down. He grabs my legs and opens them wide before burying his face in my pussy.

  I’ve never had a man go down on me before. Sure, I’ve had boyfriends who have tried to get me excited with their hands, but it was nothing like what Sean is doing now. His face is buried between my legs, his tongue expertly moving in and out of my folds, inside my pussy, and then up over my clit. It’s a feeling I’ve never felt before, and I wasn’t expecting it.

  I’m seconds away from coming as his tongue licks over my clit, and suddenly, his fingers bury deep inside my pussy. I scream, and he knows I’m close to coming. Just as I’m about to come, he stops. He sits up and pulls his shirt off over his body.

  Yummy.

  His body is beautiful. It’s all abs and muscles and tan, not like my fair skin that never gets to see the light of day here in Chicago.

  He walks over to the nightstand and pulls out a condom before slipping out of his jeans and underwear. As he walks back toward the bed, I turn my head away, too embarrassed to even look at him.

  He laughs. “You can look, Olive.”

  I do even though I know my cheeks are now bright red with embarrassment. I eat him up with my eyes.

  But the way he carries his body and walks toward me before climbing up on top of the bed makes me realize how much I want to be like him. It’s a crazy thought that I want to be like a man I hate. But I can learn a lot from Sean. I’d love to be able to walk into a room and carry my head high, no matter what stupid things I end up doing.

  “Like what you see?” he asks with a smirk.

  “Yes. You like what you see?” I say bravely, shocked at myself for being so bold.

  His eyes travel down my body and then back up to my eyes. “I already have your body forever etched into my memory. I love it so much.”

  I bite my lip, and then he shocks me by tossing me the condom and rolling over onto his back.

  “Fuck me, Olive.”

  I can’t tell if he is giving me the control or if he’s keeping the control by demanding that I fuck him instead of him fucking me. Now, I’m suddenly nervous again. He clearly has much more experience than I do.

  I swallow hard as I rip the condom wrapper open and take the condom out. And then I look at Sean’s eyes as he dares me to prove to him that I’m not some naive, scared woman. It’s just another test. It’s just, this time, the test is sex.

  I grab his dick harder than I should but enough to show him that I’m taking back control. And then I roll the condom down on top of it before I throw my leg over him, straddling him as my hands claw at his chest. I lower my lips to his and kiss him hard, like he did to me, before I fuck him.

  I wince a little as his dick slides inside me. I’m not used to someone his size—or used to sex much anyway. I haven’t had sex in over a month. Owen simply didn’t have the time. Now, I know why. Owen was seeing another woman on the side. He was fucking. Just her and not me.

  “Use it,” Sean says with a grin.

  He knows what I’m thinking, that I’m thinking about Owen. He knew I would the second I started having sex with another man who wasn’t Owen. So, I do. I thrust up and down on top of Sean’s dick, using my hatred for Owen, taking it out on sex with Sean. And, as good as it feels, I need Sean to help me get there again. I can’t move like he does.

  “What do you want, Olive? Tell me,” Sean says.

  “I want your tongue on my nipples again.”

  He sits up, and his lips cover my nipple. His tongue teases me again as it dances between my breasts while his eyes find mine. He makes me moan louder, bringing me closer but not quite there. Sean raises an eyebrow at me, challenging me to keep telling him what I want, to take control. I’m thankful to have some control again, but I know that, as I long as I keep fucking him like this, I’ll never get what I want.

  “Fuck me, and make me come,” I say.

  He grins as he grabs my hips and starts moving me up and down and in a circular motion, much faster and harder than I could on my own. His mouth stays on my tit, and I groan loud, like I’ve never groaned before. So loud that I’m sure the whole building heard me. He doesn’t tell me to come or to quiet my screams. He just gives me one more dirty look and thrusts harder, making me scream and orgasm all over his hard dick.

  It takes me a second to calm my breathing, but when I do, he says, “That was for you. This one is for me…and maybe you.”

  Before I have time to think, he pulls out of me and flips me over face-first onto the bed. His dick enters hard from behind me. I struggle for air as he fucks me hard against the bed. He smacks my ass hard twice. Hard enough that it brings tears to my eyes, but not so hard that I want him to stop. And then he comes hard and fast while screaming out my name before collapsing onto my back. We stay like that, stuck together, both recovering from one of the best fucks of my life.

  Sean slowly gets up and says, “Want to take a shower with me? I’m sure we can find something fun to do in the shower.” He winks at me.

  I roll onto my back, smiling, trying to give myself a few more seconds to recuperate before I say yes to my first time getting fucked in a shower.

  But then Sean’s eyes grow wide as he stares at me, and I’m afraid, now that the sex goggles are gone, he sees something in me that he doesn’t like.

  “What?”

  Sean frowns and seriously looks at me. “Olive, please tell me you weren’t a virgin.”

  I bite my lip to try to keep from laughing because he will be far too fun to play with in this moment. I look down at the two spots of blood staining his white sheets. “It was my first time…” I say.

  “Oh my God, Olive! I can’t believe you tricked me like that. I would never have fucked you if I knew you were a virgin. I don’t do virgins. Far too clingy, and I’m not good with all the emotions and crap…” Sean keeps rambling, but I don’t hear him because I’m dying laughing at him freaking out.

  “It’s not funny, Olive. You need to tell a man before you let him fuck you for the first time.”

  I start laughing so hard that I snort. “You didn’t let me finish,” I say between laughs.

  Sean narrows his eyes. “Of course I let you finish. You came twice if I recall. It’s not my fault you don’t know what an orgasm is yet.”

  I laugh even harder. I finally get up from the bed and
shake off the laughs as I put my hand on his hard chest. “It was the first time that a man made me orgasm while having sex. Not my first time having sex. I must just be starting my period or something.”

  I walk past him and into the bathroom, enjoying having the upper hand for once. My jaw falls open again though when I see that the size of his bathroom is larger than my entire apartment. And the shower is big enough to comfortably hold half a dozen people at least.

  I feel Sean behind me.

  “You know, it’s not nice to test people.”

  I grin as I turn and face him. “I’m just learning from the best,” I say with a wink.

  “I’m going to have to punish you for that.”

  I grin even wider. “Good. Because I think I like your punishments.”

  9

  Sean

  I’m running away. I don’t ever run away from anything, but I’m running away from Olive.

  I didn’t expect one night with her to affect me so much, but it did. She is so different from any woman I’ve ever dated before.

  I enjoyed fucking her more than I’d thought I would. I know that she is inexperienced, and inexperienced women aren’t usually my type, but, man, did I love breaking her, showing her what sex could be like with a real man.

  But she can’t get attached. I don’t date women, and I sure as hell don’t fuck the same woman more than once. Because that leads them to thinking that I’m willing to date them, and I’m not. The only woman I’ve ever considered dating again is Jamie. She’s the only person I’ve ever really cared about. I’m not going to let another woman cause me any pain if they don’t even compare to Jamie. I’m not going to put myself in that kind of pain ever again.

  I’ve never met a woman who can compare to Jamie, but Olive and Jamie are so different that it would be hard to compare the two anyway. Jamie is confident, determined. She knows exactly what she wants and how to get it. Olive is a sweet, clumsy mass with very little confidence. But I’m also discovering how beautiful she really is, how strong, how sassy she is when she wants to be. And there’s just something about Olive that I can’t quite understand. She has this quality, and I don’t know if I love her or hate her. She just gets under my skin in a way that no woman, even Jamie, ever has before.